The Antecedents and Consequences of Parents’ Unconditional Acceptance to Children

Abstract

Parents’ unconditional positive regard has long been postulated to be crucial for children’s optimal development (Rogers, 1961). Yet, many parents argue that children’s motivation to achieve would be undermined if children are accepted unconditionally. Although considerable research has documented the detrimental effects of parental conditional regard, love withdrawal is still prevalent among parents whose self-worth is contingent on children’s performance (Ng, Pomerantz, & Deng, 2014). Conversely, for parents who are able to accept themselves regardless of their success at parenting tasks, they are more likely to show unconditional acceptance to children (Ellis & Bernard, 2006). To unpack the antecedents and consequences of unconditional parental regard, the present study has two goals. First, to examine whether child-based worth, unconditional self-acceptance and grandparents’ use of unconditional regard are the antecedents of unconditional parental regard. Second, to investigate the consequences of unconditional parental regard on parents’ provision of structure and children’s self-improvement motivation in academic domain. The current study was a self-report survey and the participants were 113 Chinese fifth or sixth graders and their mothers in Hong Kong. In line with Assor, Roth, and Deci’s (2004) study, our results showed intergenerational transmission of unconditional parental regard. There was positive association between mothers’ perception of their own mothers’ unconditional acceptance and their current child-rearing practice. Child-based worth was negatively associated with mothers’ unconditional acceptance, indicating the more the mothers’ self-worth being contingent on children’s academic performance, the less likely the mothers accepted their children unconditionally. In contrast, mothers’ unconditional self-acceptance predicted their acceptance of children’s worth regardless of achievement. It was found that mothers with higher level of unconditional self-acceptance were more likely to enact unconditional regard with warmth and structure to children’s academic behaviors. Furthermore, when children perceived more unconditional acceptance from their mothers, they had higher self-improvement motivation. This finding addressed parents’ worry that unconditional acceptance would undermine children’s motivation. Instead, children being accepted non-judgmentally had stronger autonomous motivation to improve their weaknesses when they felt more secure in face of setback. Overall, the present study extends past research (e.g. Roth, Kanat-Maymon, & Assor, 2016) by shedding light on the antecedents and consequences of unconditional parental regard. It has practical implication on parent education that advocates for unconditional parental regard to optimize children’s development.