Pleasure and danger of queer heterosexuality : the ethnography of on/offline sex partying in Hong Kong

Abstract

This ethnography of a heterosexual sex party club examines the phenomenon of sex partying in a Chinese society in the internet age. As a member of the club, I conducted 23 months of online and offline participant observation of the club’s online forum as well as its sexual and non-sexual events (April 2016 – February 2018), together with 18 in-depth interviews with partygoers (May 2016 – November 2017). In endeavouring to democratise qualitative research methods, the ethics of friendship and fictional ethnography are adopted as reflexive approaches to my role as in the research process and knowledge production. In view of the meagre non-epidemiological, non-Western and non-gay studies of sex partying, this thesis offers an empirical foundation and a feminist perspective to understand this non-monogamous practice in terms of varied queer heterosexual experiences. It thus provides an alternative entry point, other than marriage or normative coupledom, to understand the institution of heterosexuality in the deep-seated patriarchy of the civil society. Despite the public and academic impressions of unsafe, chaotic and edgework practices, the partygoers in this study create a risk-averse space bounded by rules, discipline and hierarchy, with the objective of protecting their health, privacy and safety. Meanwhile, although occurring outside conventional, committed relationships, this form of sex partying is not equivalent to impersonal, casual sex, as many partygoers develop extra-dyadic intimacy with each other not only at the sporadic physical gatherings, but also through the continuous virtual communications on the online forum. In this thesis, I examine how rules are enacted and how party-going is normalised in the organisation of sex partying against the backdrop of sexual conservatism in Hong Kong. Particularly, I look at how the Confucian principles of hierarchical harmony and epistemic paternalism inform its authoritarian disciplinary power. The organisation results in the production of a queer counterpublic of heterosexuality which is physical, virtual and discursive, as well as alternative ideal (hetero)sexual subjects who are at once sexually adventurous and submissive to authority. Despite the seemingly discreet control, the lack of democratic participation results in frequent failings of the sanitised space. Hence, I argue the importance of addressing democracy in private domains. I also propose the concept of ‘erotic capabilities’ to explore the intimate (in)justices involved in sex partying. This concept refers to the individual’s entitlement to erotic choices and erotic freedoms for self-definition. I illustrate how the liminal space of sex partying enables the partygoers to experiment beyond the heteronormative sexual script and move towards gender equality in the reciprocity of sexual pleasures. Rather than providing a generalised overview of the sex party scene in Hong Kong, the alternative model of non-monogamous sex described in this study is offered to diversify and fluidise our understanding of heterosexualities, explore the pleasure and danger involved in the pursuit of erotic freedoms, and rethink the values of justice, democracy, discipline and order in sexual lives and in civil society.